Hey Marvel, why you gotta lie?

 

Conspiracy Theory Time. Marvel leaked the well produced with full musical cues and well-timed cameos No Way Home trailer themselves.

Not long ago, I remember them making this HUGE deal about not releasing a trailer for this film. They were going to build anticipation with silence. 

And then they got crickets. Sure, people were talking about the flick, but no one was salivating like a studio wants to see when they've put some significant effort into something. 

So... They caved. They made one. But they could never show us that they'll give in, and after all a gigantic deal must be made of this, that's what gets the butts in the seats, yes, yes....... Enter reddit.

The trailer was leaked and then ad budget money was discreetly moved and now there's a giant ad campaign on YouTube every five minutes when all I was trying to do was watch Rhett and Link try to eat a blood taco.

No. They did this. They planned this, they funded a, must I say, insanely well-produced trailer featuring a Favreau cameo and then they stuck it in front of our faces at every single impasse. My question is why lie? 

We were gonna see the flick whether you gave us a trailer or not. And you know trailers help build excitement for that movie that you've put so much behind. So you threw out an experiment. It backfired. We knew your movie was coming but we weren't going mad for it. You realized your mistake. But then... Why you gotta lie and say it was leaked?

I'm not gonna lie to you, Marge, I'm actually a little hurt here. I mean, sure, I've had my moments with Marvel where I've thought something should've been played out different, (Civil War, I'm looking at you), but I've never felt deceived by Marvel.

But this time, they just straight up leaked a trailer that only they could have made and said oops to our faces like a toddler with a sharpie in his hand.

Marvel, you've changed.

Review: Why the hate on @ThatKevinSmith's Masters of the Universe?? #MoreMOTU

 

I've long subscribed to the Kevin Smith belief that if you don't like something, you don't need to trash it. No need to build up that which you love by trashing what you hate. And on that note, let me start talking about Masters of the Universe: Revelation.... And Revelations. I fucking loved it!

I know there's a lot of hate going around about this being a show that seemed like it was going to be a He-Man show and it not quite turning out like that, but, I'm not seeing it. He-Man is there, sure, but as the title states, this show is called Masters of the Universe. Not He-Man. Every superhero in existence is not an island. Not even he who has the power. And his universe must go on without him, right? 

I actually kind of fucking love that this show delves into a different aspect of a superhero's universe. It's not that often that you see it all from the aspect of another hero. And we couldn't have asked for a better protagonist than Teela, (voiced by the always badass Sarah Michelle Gellar), as we follow her journey to save the universe, by saving the magic.

And we couldn't have asked for a better storyteller than Mr. Smith. Ever the fanboy, this show is oozing with the delightful puns and silliness that made cartoons so much fun back in the day. I've heard a lot of talk about this show being from someone who "doesn't even like even like He-Man" and I just don't see it. He stays true to the characters and explored aspects of the the He-Man mythos that we really never got to see before. And if that isn't enough, watch Masters of the Universe: Revelation: Revelations and take one look at his face in the first few minutes and tell me that isn't the face of someone who is absolutely in love with this 'verse.

This show was written well, voiced incredibly, (including Lena Headey providing a kind of heartwarming take on fellow Lyn hyphenate Evil-Lyn and Stephen Root playing the cuddliest Battle Cat of them all), and provided a great bit of nostalgia for my weekend morning. It's a quick watch if you're binging, and let's be honest, we all sort of do binge now and it's streaming on Netflix. But do be sure to check out the extras for the aftershow, it is simply adorable.

Review: Gunpowder Milkshake

 I fucking love Karen Gillan. This is no secret, I've long extolled the virtue of her much too short-lived ABC show Selfie and while she may not be my absolute favorite companion, (Sorry, love, Ten is my Doctor, so Rose is my companion), she is so fucking close to holding that spot it's unreal. And the Rory/Amy story is forever one for the ages. But beyond that, she just wows me eveytime she's on a screen. And Gunpowder Milkshake is no different.

I saw the trailer for this not that long ago, so when it popped up on Netflix, I immediately added to my list to check it out when Boyfriend got home. And when he happened upon it three days later, I was excited as fuck. So we watched it like right then and there. Karen Gillan being a badass on a random Saturday afternoon? Yes, please!

She in no way disappoints. From kicking several asses with a panda suitcase to later killing those baddies without the use of her hands, her character runs the gamut of ultimate badass alongside mommy and her aunties. (Also exceptionally badass performances from Carla Gugino, Angela Bassett and Michelle Yeoh as well in this flick, must be said.)

Now let's go back to mommy. The mark of a good actor is when you can legitimately hate a character they've played and still kind of fucking love their badassness in another. This brings us to Lena Headey.

I was late to the game of thrones. I tried watching when it initially came out and.... Joffrey was just too fucking much for me. It took a visit from a friend from England who *had* to see the current week's episode during season six for me to decide to give the show a shot again. And I still hated Joffrey but I saw it through. And boy did I learn to hate tf out of Cersei too. And unlike my forever unease whenever I see Louise Fletcher or Anna Gunn in a role, I actually was quite fond of Lena Headey in her arc on Covert Affairs as well and not in a "love to hate her" kind of way. (Let me express here, no dislike for any of the above mentioned, quite lovely ladies, they just happen to pull off hate-able crazy fucking good.)

Headey one hundred percent pulled a Covert Affairs on me in the flick. Her character is definitely flawed but you end up rooting for her like no other.

Go watch this flick. Like now. It's on Netflix so you've got no excuse not to see these fucking badass specimens of womanhood play with some guns. And hey, there a cute as a button kid in it too. Just... Maybe make two bags of popcorn when you do. Learn from my mistakes.

Disaster Movie Night: Deep Impact and 2012.

 

Whilst randomly strolling the YouTubes, Boyfriend and I decided it needed to be a Disaster Movie Night. OK, I asked. Some chicks like true crime, I like seeing the various ways the world ends. What can ya do?

We went for Deep Impact, which I'm pretty sure I've seen once, but years ago and 2012, which was new to me. Tommy Lee Jones and John Cusack. Those are good choices if you don't feel like asking "Hey, you wanna watch The Rock fly around in a helicopter saving his family in San Andreas? Again?"...

Tommy Lee Jones was full on Two Face Country Boy in his usual Tommy Lee Jones style. But I've got questions. How are concrete barriers gonna stop lava? How did that bus not go splode-y? Why would a geologist straddle a crack in the ground when they know 7 fucking people baked to death in that tunnel? Why, oh, why does Germany just happen to have a news crew in LA back in the day when we were waaaaaaay less global and there aren't any German news channels in LA? 

But..... You know.... Logic rarely enters some movies and disbelief is king. Fun flick. Lots of liquid hot magma and it kind of made me regret that of all the years I spent in LA, I only set out to go to the tar pits once and then when I got lost attempting it, I never bothered to try again..

Now onto Cusack. I love Cusack. And this flick came with bonus Osric Chau. Monk Osric Chau, even. From prophet to Sam Winchester to Monk. Makes sense.

2012 came before 2012. And before 2020. And it was so hard to hear the line that 400,000 people would be saved when in this past year, that number represents the bulk of the number of people we lost in this country alone. I can't wrap my head around that math. It's hard. And sometimes real life takes me entirely too far out of a movie. 

But I got back in. It helps that Oliver Platt pulled off giant douche so well. The action is great, hell, the limo driving scene in the beginning was worth the entire watch. 

Disaster movies are weird. Like, I know I shouldn't want to watch the world come to an end in new and exciting ways, but I do. Perhaps living through more than one "omg we're so fucked" moment in my lifetime makes me need to see the moments we haven't had to face. Maybe I just like the giant explosions. Who knows. But for whatever reason, I'm pretty happy I made the random "hey you wanna watch a disaster movie" comment.

Late to the Game Review: The true story of how I flashed through The Flash in a week..

 

So I'm late on this by a few years, I'm here and that's what's important. Right? **Insert Padme Face Here**Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh?

I came to this one in a weird way though. Boyfriend and I were having our usual meme exchange and he sent one with someone who looked like The Dawson's dad. And I made a joke about said Dawson's dad resemblance and well, y'all, I never knew he was the 90's Flash. My fandom tendencies are weird and exhibit themselves in less than normal nerdy areas. Is what it is. But I digress...... He mentioned that John Wesley Shipp had also played the new Flash's dad. And..... Well...............

My love of The Dawson is the stuff of legend. I vividly remember forcing my parents to take me to Best Buy long before I worked there to buy ten packs of VHS tapes to tape it's weekly entry. And I always remember good ole Mitch Leery fondly. And he played a dad well enough that I figured hey, let's give this new dad role of his a go. 

And I'm so fucking glad I did. His roles, (Yes. Roles. Parallel Earths. Shit gets weird.), are played excellently, as even while in jail he's still rocking that good ole' Mitch Leery "I love you, son, now stop being a dumbass" spirit that I remember so well. Hell, he even pulls that off as another character when they walk into a diner that happens to be playing Dawson's Creek on the TV. (I could barely breathe I was laughing so hard. This is not an exaggeration. I thought I might pass out.)

And he's not the only one who I've come to adore in this show. Detective Joe West played by Law & Order alum Jesse L. Martin is another fatherly type to be much appreciated in this. If you play a cop this well, please dude, ALWAYS play jump at the chance to play a cop. There's a reason why I've watched insane amounts of L&O through the years and it's all down to the acting. Cos I feel like an anomaly of my generation..... Watching stuff about crime does not entertain me. Even the best writing won't do it alone, so acting plays a massive role in any crime show that does pique my interest. And Jesse L. Martin can play a fucking cop. And apparently a great dad to some kids with some oddness in their lives.

But I guess any review of The Flash wouldn't be complete without talking about this Flash and Grant Gustin did a fantastic job of sucking me into a chapter in the life of a hero that I actually came to the table knowing nothing about. Embodying a character who has actually been quite fucked in life life, but still insists on never letting it change him is a task that is a tall order to fill and he does it beautifully. 

The whole cast is quite well suited for their roles, exhibiting sides of their range that I've not quite seen before and executing it with superhero like precision. Enough so, that yes..... I literally watched the first six seasons in a week and a day. 

Review: F9. Lots of furious, not enough fast. (Spoilers)

 I'll start at the top. What's the name of this one, guys? I swear I'm not trying to be cute. In the movie listings and marketing tweets, it's F9. Title card said Fast and Furious 9....... I'm confused. Or maybe they're confused.

I digress. 

I LOVE the Fast and Furious flicks, historically speaking. I love cars. Especially fast cars. The franchise didn't have to sell me on anything, just shiny, fast cars and boy did they ever. At first. But things have taken a turn. They're fighting crazy supervillain level hackers now. Spawning spin-offs. Taking down submarines.

And to be honest, I was actually even still with them on that ride because, well.... Shiny, fast cars.

But this movie is a whole other beast. And the biggest lack of excitement I noticed, where are the fucking cars? I saw some destroyed. Some picked up by an airplane. Even saw a Fiero reach heights I never expected a Fiero to get to. But the focus of the movie shifted farther away from cars than I ever expected Fast and Furious anything to even flirt with.

This movie is about family, a common theme in the franchise, sure, but apparently this family now includes a super spy brother who works with and for a supervillain and kidnapped another supervillain and they planned to do a thing.

This thing, I should probably mention here, I sort of missed. Boyfriend had to tell me what it was after the flick cos I just missed the entirety of it's specifics. And yeah, when he told me, it certainly did sound like a thing that should be stopped. But are to Toretto's and Co. really the best group for the job? Not some specially trained, top of their class career military types? Perhaps people with access to Soyuz capsules or the ISS rather than having to launch a tricked out Fiero into space off the back of a jet?

And how tf did they airtight a Fiero? Like........ Cars. Are. Not. Airtight. Sorry. That one's been really bugging me.

It was a good flick. Entertaining and it gives you another chapter in the lives of those we've peeked in on for years. Definitely worth the watch, no lie.

But I've got questions.

TV Rant: In Defense of Commercials...

Image via RaymondJ @ ifrymineinbutter.

How do I say this without sounding like an absolute asshole.... I miss commercials.

I thought, back in the days when I first got a DVR and was able to fast forward through these short annoyance breaks in between acts of my favorite TV shows, but, I was wrong, you guys. So. Dead. Wrong.

As my DVR led into ultimately streaming on places like Netflix and even in past blog posts lamenting about paying for Hulu Plus and it not allowing skipping commercials as a premium option, eventually I started streaming through my cable company's proprietary service and I noticed a new thing that I just can't get behind.

Instead of commercials, I get an almost vanity card like note from the network saying that they're at a commercial break, and re-assuring me that my program will return shortly.

I'd rather be watching an ad. Whether it be for a product, (Which means more money for the networks to help continue producing these shows I adore so much, always a good thing!), or for a different program on the network, (Which is also pretty badass since I don't exactly watch actual channels anymore, and I tend to miss out on some new stuff, so these ads really do help!!), I'd so much rather be inundated with some marketing than be staring at this vanity card for 2-5 minutes and listening to the same 45 second loop of elevator muzak over and over again.

And this missing commercials thing? It's gotten really bad. It's gotten Take-My-TV-That-Has-Only-Ever-Known-An-Xbox-As-An-Input-And-Actually-Screw-In-The-Old-School-Coaxial-Cable-In-BAD. Yes, you heard all that right, I am watching broadcast television at this exact moment. And commercials. And I'm not even feeling bad about the fact that I'm watching ads on a service that I actually pay way more for than I ever did for Netflix. I feel good about it. You know, like I'm doing my part to keep this almost flailing industry afoot.

And you know what, that's where I'll end this, Do your part, and watch a commercial today!

(Was that too The More You Know-y...? Cos if it was, you can totally tell me.)